Should dating become relationship
I don’t think there’s an easy answer here, and I don’t think it’s an either/or scenario.It’s not like you are dating someone, and then after a magic number of dates or hours spent together you are now in a relationship (and no longer dating). And if and when the relationships starts to become more serious, you think of it less as someone you are dating and more as someone you are in a committed relationship with.But I think that question (and much of that post actually) is very relevant to dating. People are looking for certain things in life; and when looking for someone to share parts of their life with they have to be approaching it in a way that works for them.I commonly talk about how one of the struggles in relationships is finding the balance between “me” and “we”.Dating (at least initially) is almost purely about “me”, and I’ve always thought the transition from dating to relationship starts to happen when the nature of the relationship starts to include “we”.And I guess this is an area where I realize I had no clue (you know nothing Drew, you know nothing).That said, from talking about dating with different people who have “been there” a lot more than I have, I think that although dating is different, some of the ideas and issues I have around relationships still apply.
As I said above, I see the transition from dating to relationship happening when the nature of the relationship starts to include “we”.
A struggling one perhaps, but still – as our discussion went on it became clear that they are actually two very different things.
To borrow a line from Game of Thrones; when it comes to the world of dating I often feel like there’s a fur clad wildling woman looking at me saying “you know nothing Drew, you know nothing”.
Not that my buddy Gandalf is a fur clad wildling woman, but hopefully you get the idea. I’m not sure if I necessarily look at the world through rose colored glasses, but I tend to look for the best in people and I can be too trusting.
I have long underestimated how much ego can come into play (in a bad way) when people make decisions, or maybe it’s more accurate to say when people simply act without making decisions; and how people can be willing to hurt others in order to get what they want.