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David thinks that there’s something wrong with how we talk and think about intimate relationships.He thinks considering people single if they don’t have a certain kind of relationship is hurtful.It’s specifically flawed in ways that make it difficult for asexual people to engage in.David rejects that there’s only one kind of relationship that counts, and that there’s a particular course that a relationship must take.
It’s not an asexual person’s responsibility to come out until asexuality is widely accepted.
The first person I interviewed was Gaia Steinberg, 24, from Israel. She’s an activist in the feminist, sex-positive, and asexual communities. He has been in a leader and activist in asexual community for ten years, was active in campaigns to take asexuality out of the DSM, and was featured in the documentary Asexual people are not a monolith, but I asked Gaia and David to tell me about their own experiences with the community as a whole and their own personal understanding of dating while asexual.
Remember that no one person sees dating or sexuality exactly the same way as another, but I hope that this serves as a jumping off point for giving you some insight into dating while asexual.
Many asexual people choose to wait a little while until they trust the person they are seeing before coming out.
This is not trickery; it’s waiting to reveal a marginalized identity until trust has been established.