Concerns about dating someone younger humor dating sites
It felt like some meerkat, dominant-female bullshit — my manager was also in the room, but I got all the abuse. If I couldn’t face an email about a potential writing gig, he’d review it first, giggle strangely, then shorthand what it said as I stood paralyzed in the kitchen expecting rejection.
In bed, he was as careful and attentive as someone preparing a body for burial. Maybe there was so much postelection dread that I would have huddled around anyone’s fire.
But I was suffering through the disability I call “middle life” and needed comfort.
“Don’t ever tell me again how men oppress women,” this boyfriend lectured, “when you women couldn’t even get together for Hillary.”“That was women,” I lobbed back.
Maybe I wanted to be the self-centered asshole in a relationship.
Either way, I behaved like a cranky senior who didn’t get any visitors except this one junior orderly. We lived in the most expensive city in America; carrying us both made me feel superior.“Babe,” he once called to ask, “is it OK if I go out tonight with my coworkers? And be here in the morning.”When he showed up at my house — still bleary from tequila shots, explaining that he had lost his cell phone at a bar and blacked out — I launched into a matronly reprimand about his bad choices and how he couldn’t afford to replace his phone with the child support he owed.“And don’t think I’m going to buy you a phone and reward your dumb behavior.”He glared at me, quivering like that kid from Stanley Kubrick’s , and said, “I’m sorry. “It’s this Hollywood classic where a faded actress keeps a younger man. He bowed out the door peacefully, and I chased him barefoot down Fillmore Street, feeling mean-spirited and craven.
That’s what it was like to date a younger guy who was desperately in need of love and stability.
A guy who was sleeping on his friend’s couch and working the cash register at a corner market I was an overeducated black woman with good credit, no kids, who was 20 years his senior — I should have known better.