If you’re not ready to work with them through this, don’t expect the relationship to last very long. Except for our Facebook status, Princess and I still treat each other exactly the same way we did when we were in a relationship.
It’s good in that there is no drama or bitterness after the breakup, but it’s bad in that I, being an NT, tend to forget that we’re no longer together sometimes.
It’s especially worse if they aren’t actually diagnosed with it yet, which means that they aren’t even aware that they’re different, and unless you are a qualified professional, you have no business playing psychologist for them and lampshading their difference. Every single time I would mention that she’s an aspie, Princess would promptly punch my arm or scratch me.
Note: This was originally published as a chapter in the book “GAP: Autism, happiness and wellbeing” (British Institute of Learning Disabilities).
Just as men and women are different, just as a guy who likes sports and a geek who likes comics are different, aspies and people without Asperger’s (often referred to as neurotypical, or NT for short) are different.
These differences manifest themselves in different ways, but the key thing to understand is that aspies are not necessarily disabled or impaired, and can function quite well in society, regardless of difficulties. Princess graduated from college earlier this year, and is taking her second major.
If you plan to date an aspie for long, you should learn to address their differences without making it clear to them that you are doing so.
Whether you are dating someone with Asperger’s, or strongly feel that the person you are dating has it, then you need to learn more about Asperger’s.